To answer this incredibly bittersweet, i.e. annoying yet brilliant, question I think it would be easier for me to explain - and thus, for you to understand - each aspect in each post. By "aspect" I mean the work, the client, and me, and if I can think of anything else then that too.
So, cutting to the point, what is it like? It's exactly as you imagine it to be but a hell of a lot more stressful and a hell of a lot less glamorous than that. But, as one of my favourite meme's says:
The sex:
It's sweaty and often quite disgusting. Don't get me wrong, I like sex and I like it hot and sweaty, but it's not fun when you're getting a strange man's pubes inside your mouth every other day, or every week.
- If you're good at this job then you'll be able to tailor your service to what your clients enjoy. Take two of my old regulars, for example.The first one was a car date client. In 25C+ weather he would turn the heating on to the maximum setting in his car because he liked it hot, sweaty and hard. He was an easy job: he had the same routine which was essential some DATY followed by a lot of kissing, neck kissing, and then thrusting/humping for about 15 minutes. The man could go on like no one I had ever met before. He said he could ejaculate whenever he wanted which I thought was pretty brilliant. If he didn't make it so difficult to persuade him to put the damn condom on then I would probably go as far as to say that he was my favourite client. With this client I didn't necessarily have to tailor my service because it was so easy -- he did all the work, I just had to maintain good stamina and pant/moan a lot. Job done. I also had to push him, or almost force him to agree to put the condom on which I wasn't comfortable with.
- This client wasn't particularly difficult, but he was the type to like it gentle (which I don't like!) and taking it slow was pretty annoying and tedious for me because I like my sex rough, hard and fast. Also, he had a foot fetish. Feet disgust me. During our last session (my last one since I retired!) he told me he wanted me to do things to his toes! This was in the middle of the session! I was horrified. No offence to those who have foot fetishes and are reading this, I mean, you're talking to a call girl here so anything goes, UNTIL I have to do something like that. I was speechless or more importantly, thoughtless! It was very much a "should I? shouldn't I?" situation. On the one hand, I had never tried it before and so this was my chance to but on the other hand, I really dislike feet -- hence the reason I'm wearing socks in my profile picture! I took one for the team and did it. I had no idea what the fuck I was doing but my client seemed to be getting off on it, so if he's happy with my service, then I'm happy. Plus I get to say I've tried it even though it made me want to gag. When I was bored with it, I stopped and he wanted to try it on me. Bleurgh. Feet are for the ground, and not the mouth. I'm so glad I gave myself a pedicure the night before that appointment. So, getting back to my service for this guy, even though he liked it gentle he was the one that I stressed over the most because being gentle = taking it slow = finding more things to fill the time with. I really had to think about my service with this guy.
Don't get me wrong, you do have to think about your service to your clients if you want to be good at this job and if you want clients to come back. The pressure is always on with regulars because without becoming tedious, you need to invigorate them each time they come back. Unlike a lot of people think, sex isn't just sex when it comes to this job. Well, it is if you just don't give a shit about the job or the client or whatever. Personally, I do give a shit and when it comes to things like my job or my hobbies or pretty much anything I put my mind to, I have to be the best. The strangest thing about this is that I'm not the competitive type. I've never won anything in my life, and although I've been in "popular" crowds, I always ended up ditching them to make my own crowd. However, when it comes to bettering myself and making people feel happy and good about themselves (e.g. my clients) then I go above and beyond to make sure that happens. This brings me on to my next point.
"Training":
Okay, so there are no formal qualifications from "The British Whore Association" (and, yes, I did just make that up) and you don't get paid days off for training like you do with "normal" jobs, but training is a crucial part of this job, and it is time consuming unlike some would believe. I've spent hours, in fact, days reading and researching (and even practising on clients without them knowing!) forums and articles and anything I could find on how to give the best, most satisfying bj. The aforementioned Client 2 claimed that I gave him the best bj he received thus far. He almost interrogated me about my real age because "for someone so young, you seem really experienced!", were his exact words. It definitely fed my ego but I can't take all the credit -- I do have the internetz to thank. :P
Talk therapy:
This is where the job becomes somewhat meaningful and where you begin to develop a relationship with clients. Client 2 is a pretty good example of this as he spent a lot of time speaking about his wife, children, businesses, etc. He often used me as a shoulder to lean on when it came to speaking about his wife. In my first session with him he confided in me and told me that he apparently hires call girls because his wife refuses to go down on him. Personally, I think he's having a midlife crisis and lacks a lot of self-esteem. He once asked me if I thought he was attractive. Truth be told, my answer would have been no but I've corrupted myself by being self-depreciative and lacking in self-esteem so I most definitely refuse to do this on people who mean well even if it means lying to them. I told him of course I thought he was attractive. I wasn't going to be the one to make him feel even more vulnerable than he was feeling. It didn't take a genius to see just how vulnerable he was feeling at that moment, it really made me think twice about this job when I saw this man feel like this. At that moment he wasn't just a client to me anymore, he was an actual person. After that session was over I reflected on all the meetings I had with clients and really contemplated on them as people rather than them as clients and it was just so eye-opening when I realised how similar so many of them are -- they're relying on me to make themselves feel better about themselves as people. Most of them don't care about the sex, they might not realise it but they want reassurance on themselves as men, lovers, and people. Sex is almost like a therapy which they probably unconsciously choose because they're human and as you may learn from this blog, humans are sex-filled lunatics.
Another example of that final point on the paragraph above is one particular client I won't go into full detail about right now, but I will say that he objectified me, as a woman, to a point where I felt so uncomfortable that he almost turned me into a feminist! And that is saying something!
One last example is my first ever client. He should have been easy, but he wanted me two hours where in which he wanted to talk, have a hj and massage. I had never given a hj before in my life and hope to dear god that I will never have to because it scares me. As for the massage, I've done my mother and sister's hands, arms, legs and feet before which I've gotten better at over the years but this guy wanted a full on back massage. I've never done a back massage! I was so unprepared, it just really shattered me when I over-analysed it after. Anyway, these services were a very small part of those two hours. He wanted to talk. That really broke my introverted shell and gave me an almost extreme experience of how important socialising is in this job. We mainly discussed particularly "intellectual" things regarding religion and philosophy but other than that he mostly "bigged himself up" and told me about his job and family and what they've all been up to and things. Surprisingly he really enjoyed it all which was the biggest relief for me! Even now, I sometimes can't help but panic a little bit when I think back to it!
Those moments after
They're some of the most lonely moments I've ever felt. It's really difficult to explain this feeling. In retrospect all I see is myself sitting on the bed of the hotel room and just mulling everything over. The client often left first, and I, second. In those moments I tried to go over everything that happened but I pretty much disassociated myself from the entire experience. With the car date clients I always walked home because they came somewhere near me. Those were the most difficult moments because I live in a relatively serene area and so the walks home were always so quiet and I would be left entirely with my thoughts and nothing to distract me from them. What I was doing to myself was essentially sexual abuse in that I was placing myself in these dangerous situations because I had no idea how else to cope with everything that my mind was going through at the time. All I could think was "I need to feel pain" and "I need to feel wanted" or "loved" or "touched" or "I just need to feel". I felt like a completely different me took over me in those moments because I tried to tell myself that what happened was real, but it never felt real. It still doesn't.
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