I didn't realise I do much of what I do to say sorry. I'm going back to uni because it's my way of saying sorry to my dad that I'm a failure as a daughter. I constantly try to keep my kitchen clean because I want to say sorry to my mum for being a bad daughter. I spend almost too much time taking care of my nephew to say sorry to my sister that she had to deal with bring me up when I was a child. I take on the house shopping and strive to get a job because it's my way of saying sorry to my other sister that she ended up with that role. I haven't got the money to spend on house shopping yet still I do it. As for my brother, well, I don't see him enough to do things like this for him - instead I strive to maintain our relationship and strive to converse with him - that's something I have only done for a handful of people in my life.
I don't know how else to say sorry for being a burden and thank you for taking me on so I do all this and more.
I always knew my life revolved around my family and that I have always done everything in my power to keep them happy and safe, but I never knew why until I watched that video. I do it all for them because I feel sorry that they're stuck with me so I do everything I can to make their lives easier because they deal with enough shit when they're dealing with me.
This doesn't exactly have anything to do with anorexia - the video is the only thing here that applies to that topic. This is all to do with the realisation I had when I watched the video and she started speaking the sorry part.
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