I just heard my mum puke and had to deal with the aftermath without my siblings. I'm not used to seeing her ill even though she's been ill (with an undiagnosed illness) for all my life.
I can't stop crying. I'm so scared. When she was on the phone yesterday she kept saying she felt like she was going to die a few days ago because she was really ill and now I'm so scared. I'm a horrible daughter. I don't want her to go thinking that I'm her worst mistake.
I'm not ready to lose her. I'm so scared. I had to deal with this alone without any of my siblings around and I just didn't know what I was doing. I'm so scared. It's like a huge wake up call. For the first time in a long time I actually wish her loud voice (when she plays with my nephew) wakes me up in the morning.
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