No one wants me. I'm pretty my own mum hates me. I feel obliged to care for my nephew because she (mum) can't do it well, so I can't go out and have fun/meet guys. I really need some fucking male attention.
I met someone new a few months ago. Chris. I like Chris. I really like Chris. The thing is I don't know if I'm saying this because I need to like him in order to feel sane, or if I'm saying it because I actually do like him. That's the funny thing about my mind - I can never tell why I like the people I like. We had sex once. It was disappointing. I'm hoping next time will be better. He is a good kisser. He's a great kisser. He can keep up with me. Our conversation are on and off. He texts short texts but I like long texts and then he just stops replying and I feel depressed thinking he doesn't like me. I want him to be my boyfriend but he's not my type. I need him more than he knows, but then that's the case with all the guys in my life. I really want to be with him but I don't want to ask him in case he says no and I don't know if he'll ever want to be with me. I need him.
If I get with him I can't continue being a call girl. I spent a freaking long time deciding between a relationship and my work but a relationship always wins. I need to feel wanted.
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