The Borderline Personality Disorder Test

"Keep breaking what's been fixed a thousand times"

I have another blog! I always wanted to do this blog. Never have I had the motivation until now.

So here it is: fatnutjob.blogspot.com

It's a weightloss and thinspo blog. It's my journey. People with eating disorders, I'd advise you to not visit it. It could be a real trigger.

Apparently I'm overweight.

Surely not?

FAQ 7: I do it because I'm saying sorry.

I didn't realise I do much of what I do to say sorry. I'm going back to uni because it's my way of saying sorry to my dad that I'm a failure as a daughter. I constantly try to keep my kitchen clean because I want to say sorry to my mum for being a bad daughter. I spend almost too much time taking care of my nephew to say sorry to my sister that she had to deal with bring me up when I was a child. I take on the house shopping and strive to get a job because it's my way of saying sorry to my other sister that she ended up with that role. I haven't got the money to spend on house shopping yet still I do it. As for my brother, well, I don't see him enough to do things like this for him - instead I strive to maintain our relationship and strive to converse with him - that's something I have only done for a handful of people in my life.

It's already working. Also, if you're scarred by that other picture of me, here's a better one.

I almost couldn't eat cake today. I've had a biscuit, one piece of chocolate and later made custard to have with two last slices of cake. I spent the entire day picturing my disgusting. waist so that helped put me off. Plus it's the first time in I don't know how long where I didn't have chocolate for breakfast!

When I was having the cake and custard I felt disgusting. This means I got somewhere today! Yay me! Hopefully I'll finally stop binge eating. I hate myself for doing it. It makes me feel even more disgusted with myself than I usually am.

FAQ 6: The "Eating Disorder Questionnaire", or mini FAQ's

Or as I like to call it: 'The How Fucking Crazy Am I? Questionnaire'

Name:

Age: 19

Gender: F

Height: 5’2

Starting Weight:  145lbs

Current Goal weight: 125lbs

Ultimate Goal weight: 115lbs

Lowest weight: 140

Highest weight: 180

Favorite Diet food: Scrambled egg and baked beans

Favorite Binge Food: Biscuits

Favorite exercise: Yoga

Does anyone know? Nope. Two friends but they may have forgotten.

What makes you slip up? Loneliness, insecurity, shame, desiring attention

Something nice for a change.

I have always slightly loved him.